A Season of Growth: Unravelling the Concept of Unconditional Confidence
Hello there, lovely souls! 🌟
This month I found myself meandering through a glittering St Peters’ Square one evening, serenaded by a saxophonist playing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," and couldn't help but marvel at the mellow sound of Christmas and the magic of dusk, after a heart-warming afternoon of coffee and newfound friendships. Enter Jenny – a kindred spirit and fellow illustrator I met at last month’s AOI event. We’ve only met several times, but our conversations have been inspiring, flowing with similar ideas, depth, and mutual encouragement on our creative journeys. Sometimes, the universe places the right people in our path at the perfect time – a subtle nudge to pay attention.
Changing with the Tide
On this wintery afternoon, we delved into the topic of confidence, and it was a discussion that resonated deeply with my own artistic journey this year. At the end of our chat Jenny said to me, ‘why don’t you write a blog post on this!’ so naturally, I took her advice. Our conversation was sparked by our mutual love of "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, which had a profound effect on us both. Over the past twelve months, this creative course helped me unravel my limiting beliefs surrounding my artwork and I came to understand that beliefs are merely thoughts supported by an internal bias, and external confirmation. I witnessed first hand that a shift in these beliefs created a shift in my external world, and for the first time, I reached several milestones in my creative career.
Beyond the creative realm, this year was also a profound exploration of personal growth, marked by heartbreak, healing, and newfound alignment. In the midst of this metamorphosis, I discovered that having confidence in myself is not about external success, but rather a lifelong journey of self-acceptance. The Artist's Way bolstered my confidence in my artistic practice, leading me to manifest a trip to Bologna book fair, a publishing deal, and my first solo exhibition. Yet after the excitement of those external achievements faded, I plunged deeper into my mental state, questioning whether they truly made a difference in who I am. I may have reached my goals, yet I still grappled with imposter syndrome, shyness, and the curious paradox of feeling confident in my skills while simultaneously harbouring feelings of inadequacy. I guess that’s just being human, right?
The Ebb and Flow of Conditional Confidence
Through this self-reflection, I unknowingly unearthed the distinction between conditional and unconditional confidence. In a nutshell, conditional confidence is built on our achievements, skills, relationships and external validation. The unconditional kind blossoms from within, and is often built on trusting and acting on our own intuition, embracing mindfulness and respecting ourselves from the inside out. I like to think of conditional confidence as a ship sailing on an ocean of external circumstances. Sometimes the waves are volatile and overwhelming, others bring elation and allow us to soar high on the waves of success. I found however, that to rely on this ever-changing tide is disruptive and short-lived. There is always change outside of ourselves, but inside, cultivating a strong sense of self and unconditional confidence brings so much more satisfaction and happiness into our daily lives. Tapping into unconditional confidence takes dedication, and for me this looks like setting small, achievable goals and honouring the promise to myself to complete them. I have also partnered with Jenny as an accountability bud, and I can’t tell you how much this has helped me to show up to my goals in a healthy, supported and inspired way (I’ll be sharing more on this sooon!) It’s all a working progress, but since cultivating this trust inside of myself, I have become less shackled to the need for external validation that once dictated my fulfilment.
As we wrap up this transformative year, I stand on the edge of a new understanding, playing within the realms of conditional and unconditional confidence. This year I’ve learnt that everything truly starts with our relationship to ourselves. By taking time to nurture our inner artist, we will undoubtedly create better work, and meet like-minded creatives who are following the same path, in their own unique way. May you, dear reader, find inspiration in this season of growth, and may it be the beginning of your own unconditional confidence, wherever you find yourself on your creative path.
Merry December friends. I’m off to frolic in the snow.
C x