Witnessing the Discomfort: What I’m discovering with The Artists Way Book Club
Hello sweetest chickpeas! How’s March treating you? I’m back, fresh from a delightful birthday jaunt to London, and still basking in the glow of my debut picture book Dancing in the Rain. Now at 26, there’s a sweet scent of possibility in the air, and I find myself equally at the summit of my goals and on the edge of a new beginning.
This morning, fuelled by a surge of creativity, I feel the need to write. Perhaps it’s the result of a night spent offline, reconnecting with myself and delving into the root cause of some recent overwhelm I’ve been feeling. I've come to realise that often times, the solution lies in rest, play, or simply disconnecting from social media to embrace moments of presence and quality time. Last week was also my second in-person session at The Artist’s Way book club, and having a space to discuss, share and connect other creatives has been completely nourishing. This practice of nurturing my inner artist has been integral to my creative journey, and although it comes in waves, its significance has been amplified by my current exploration of The Artist’s Way. I’m now immersed in Week Four of the book, which is serving as both a guide and companion on my creative path. It’s a roadmap that encourages introspection, self-discovery, and the nurturing of artistic potential (you can read my first review of the book here). These past weeks have been about reconnecting to my ‘why’, and rediscovering what it truly means for me to be an illustrator. And some lessons I’m learning along the way!
Paying Attention
As a prelude to the book club, I met up with some lovely illustrators from Manchester (you can see Nicki and Kate’s work here) in preparation for Bologna Children’s Book Fair. It’s a trip I’m highly anticipating after my first visit in 2023. This time however, there’s a distinct shift in perspective - I’ll be attending as a published illustrator! It’s a curious feeling to know this - a concoction of pride and imposter syndrome. At the meet-up, surrounded by the brilliance of fellow artists, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. I noticed a sense of disconnection from my own creativity, and this realisation hit me like a bolt. I’d become so consumed by the demands of productivity and sense of urgency that undeniably comes from working on briefs, that my creativity had taken a back seat.
Julia Cameron talks about synchronicity in The Artists Way, and that once we start taking action, doors begin to open. While I pondered on this realisation, I made a visit to my old university and attended an inspiring talk by Nick Sharratt. During his talk I found myself drawn not to his fame or portfolio, but to his roots, and his old uni work, characterised by life drawing and observational sketches. "That’s it!" I thought. "That’s what I've been craving!” I think the essence of illustration lies in capturing the world as we see it, and translating mundane moments into magic on the page. Yet somewhere along the way, amidst deadlines and obligations, I had lost sight of this fundamental truth. I guess this happens to all of us, but I hope this serves as a reminder to reconnect to your ‘why’ as you pursue a career in the arts.
Starting Book Club
It took a couple of weeks after this realisation to really immerse myself in The Artist’s Way. My first book club session felt like coming home. It served as a reminder that surrounding ourselves with a supportive community can provide invaluable encouragement and inspiration. The third week was particularly eye-opening for me, as I had to confront feelings of uncertainty around pursuing a freelance career and making enough money to sustain myself. I’ve been sensing this imbalance for a while and with the help of The Artists Way, I’ve finally been willing to look at it in the daylight. I am looking at "it," whatever that may be, and realise that in pursuing illustration, I really lost sight of the enjoyment of being creative. During one of the exercises, we were tasked with noting down our ‘imaginary lives’. Things we’d do if money wasn’t an option. Among the whimsical dreams and aspirations, I found myself avoiding adding art to the list. And this was a shared experience with the rest of the group. We spoke freely about yoga retreats and roller-skating, manicures and cinema solo-dates. But where was the art? The thing we all chose to do because at one time, we loved it.
One discussion we had was around the influence of social media, particularly Instagram, and how it has gradually eroded any connection to our creative selves. The unavoidable feeling of comparison and saturation of curated content builds an atmosphere of inadequacy, and perhaps that’s where the heaviness and pressure to create comes from. This situation however, leaves little room for play and experimentation. From what I’ve learnt, it's easy (and natural) to lose sight of why we create when working towards the pressure of deadlines. My calendar has recently been devoid play, and the art I’ve been making consequently felt a little uninspired, and hollow.
Preparing for Bologna
Returning to the topic of Bologna fills me with a mix of excitement and apprehension. The idea of building a revised portfolio looms over me, and despite having a freshly published book to add to my list of accolades, the prospect of engaging with publishers still feels daunting, reminding me that I am still, and probably always will be, learning as I go.
I have found in these weeks of self-reflection, that this job does require a certain amount of mental strength, and whether you give yourself time to do affirmations in the morning, or to simply delete IG when you’re feeling overwhelmed, it all contributes to self-care for your inner artist. Joining the book club has been the safety net in which I can unpack my own limiting beliefs around time and money as a creative, as well as owning up to the fact that perhaps I haven’t been allowing myself to play as much as I would like. The most important step is to move towards this discomfort, to talk about it, write about it, and ask for guidance when you can. As Julia Cameron puts it; "Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace, and power in it." It's a reminder that every step, no matter how small, carries the potential for transformation.
Other Tidbits:
*My lovely friend Jenny (who started the book club!) makes videos about her illustration journey. I made a cameo in her latest episode! You can watch it here.
*Eternal Sunshine is my album of the month. This song has been on repeat.
*In London I visited Frameless, an immersive experience that blends art and music. While the Impressionist room may not have been my favourite, the ethereal soundtrack and mirrored walls created a very dreamy atmosphere, and I really enjoyed my visit!
*Old movie nights at the cinema are the best! I recently saw a re-run of Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark and it filled my inner child’s cup to the brim!
Moving into a new week, I’ve cut my social media time down significantly and I’ve already witnessed pockets of inspiration come through. I’m getting opportunities that before didn’t have the space to emerge, and ideas for projects that no longer seem so daunting (before I was overwhelmed by wanting to do it all at once). I’m now following those sparks of inspiration, and following what lights me up, even if the answers in front of me don’t make sense right now. I do believe what excites us is what we’re meant to pursue, and hopefully by creating from this space, the answers will reveal themselves in time.
Remember to listen out for them!
C x